Sometimes when the reality of pioneering a ranch hits me straight in the face like a steel shovel, and my heart aches for normal, and wifi, and a landline phone, and a bathroom bigger than half a normal closet, and not having to load 7 people up on a four wheeler to go the top of the mountain for a normal shower just to find out you are out of propane and you have to take a cold shower with kids SCREAMING, and your refrigerator the size of a dorm refrigerator that was just filled for the 3 days you can fill it with-stops working, and the never ending ranch dirt, and county's making everything nearly impossible, and......need I go on.
I sit in the parking lot of my little country town, with my new escalade filled with 5 gas cans I need to fill up with gas and take back to the ranch and I steal their wifi and check in with my challengers and eat a Twix and CRY.
Why?!? Cause {DREAM CATCHING} is freaking hard work and most days I just want to quit and complain and quit again for NORMAL. I want to curl up in a fetal position and protest "NO MORE" to my husband...and then it hits hard. That steal shovel again, right across my face.
Failure is inevitable, quiting is my choice.
I begin to grab back core of me, that deep down strength. The one that has gotten me through the past 10 years of fighting and failure and forging towards our dreams.
One day-when I am sitting in my little farm house and we are training missionaries from around the world...I KNOW it will be worth it. So I fix my eyes on the GOAL-not my circumstances-cause man it is easy to plant yourself as the victim.
Brush it off, Jen! You've got work to do.
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